Why is being polite so hard for some people?
Opinion
What happened to politeness?
Should we have a funeral for good manners?
By Zac Sarco
Politeness and good manners should be a way of life for residents of the Philippines capital of Manila, an official of the city's development authority insists. Apparently this is not only an attempt to stop people from urinating against walls, but to generally make the city pleasant, cleaner and more livable.
This made me wonder, why have once-common traits like politeness, consideration, and courtesy all but disappeared from the lives of many people?
I was walking along a corridor at work when a colleague came out of his office and started walking toward me. As he was about to walk past I said, “Hi Greg!” — He looked at me blankly and walked past without saying a word.
This is not the first time this has happened. It seems that simple politeness would prompt someone to at least acknowledge the other person's presence. But I think that in Greg's case he probably thought “Hello” in his head and assumed that I could read minds. Or maybe it was just bad manners.
At church we had a member who would always sit in the front row and shout out questions while the pastor was preaching. Of course some college professors encourage this, but pastors generally don't. It shows a lack of consideration for the pastor's time and the train of thought he is following in trying to present God's Word.
It also doesn't seem polite when someone near you is shouting into a mobile phone. I don't want to hear your exaggerated laughter when I'm not in on the joke; nor do I care what you are having for dinner. Have some consideration for people around you.
I'm sure I'm not the only one who thinks good manners, politeness, and consideration for others are being replaced by self-centeredness, ignorance, and rudeness. I don't put bags on an adjoining seat on buses and trains, preventing other passengers from being able to sit down, although I see a lot of people who do.
And I always reply to emails as soon as I can, even if only to say I am too busy to reply properly at the moment but I will get back to you.
Why is it so hard for people to say please and thank-you and excuse me?
Why do other drivers rudely steal a parking space when it is clear you were there first and are about to drive into it?
When you ask for directions, do people really think they are being helpful by giving you 15 street names to remember while tellling you to turn right, then left, then right and right again before you go left then right, or is it right then left? Long verbal instructions are impossible for people to remember, so I usually point them in the right direction, tell them roughly how far it is to the place they are looking for, and suggest they ask others along the way.
In busy city streets, why do people walk slowly in the middle of the pavement so no-one can get past? And shouldn't common sense kick in when people get to the top of an escalator? Do they think when they get to the top: “I'm at the top so I think I will stop”? And everyone behind them piles on to them and 10 people end up on the floor.
In the Bible we read of many instances of the dear saints of God going out of their way to help others and to edify the church. What joyous times these people seem to have experienced, even in the midst of persecution.
In contrast, today I looked on YouTube and found a video clip of a young girl with a guitar singing a beautiful song to the world, and among the comments people had written about it was one that said, “Your singing stinks and so do you - give up you talentless moron.” The light of joy has been snuffed out of this person's heart.
Then there is that strange feminazi rudeness that we sometimes come across. I was with a friend in a large department store, and as we walked toward the exit we slowed to let a woman slightly in front of us go through the door first. She started abusing us and calling us sexist pigs for letting her go first. My friend said, “But you were in front of us,” and she just snapped back something rude at him.
It takes no more effort to be polite than to be rude. The way you treat people will be the way they will usually treat you. (The Bible's Golden Rule is “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you”.) Unfortunately there seems to have been a funeral for good manners, leaving room in the world for more rudeness in future.
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List of opinion articles.
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