Fairly asinine quotes, quips, and questions.
Fairly Absurd Questions
Note: Because this website supports evangelical Christianity and creationism, we constantly receive abusive emails from atheists, skeptics, and angry evolutionists.
So we have decided to start a page of FAQs — not “Frequently Asked Questions,” but “Fairly Absurd Questions”.
Here are some extremely silly questions and comments taken from emails we have received, with our responses.
Q: Creationists never get their facts right! Anyone who believes that Moses took 2 of every animal on a boat could not possibly get complicated scientific facts right.
A: It wasn't Moses. It was Noah.
Q: Adam was not a man; Adam means a race of people. Show me your reference in the Bible for saying that the first man living was named Adam.
A: I Corinthians 15:45. (“And so it is written, The first man Adam was made a living soul; the last Adam [Christ] was made a quickening spirit.”) If the last Adam (Jesus Christ) was a man and not a race of people, the first Adam must have been also.
Q: You say in your article about the human baby born with a tail that it has nothing to do with evolution because apes don't have tails. Haven't you heard of the Barbary Ape that has a tail!
A: Yes, we mention it in our article. But did you know that the barbary “ape” is actually a monkey, not an ape, and monkeys have tails anyway. So how does it prove your belief that humans evolved from apes by saying that a monkey has a tail?
Q: You probably believe your own ****! You pathetic ****, I pity you. Oh, by the way, the Earth is flat, fairies live at the bottom of my garden and witches should be burnt at the stake. It's staggering how you can believe this stuff in 2009.
A: You left out Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny.
Q: If you believe in creation science you must also believe the earth is flat and there is a tooth fairy.
A: With that logic you must believe that people evolved from apes.
Q: You people are just using scare tactics to try to scare people into becoming Christians. What do you say to that?
Q: You guys are crazy thinking evolution is questionable. It's been proven since Charles Darwin's time that we have evolved from apes.
A: Well, we don't know your personal habits or what you see in a mirror, so if you say you've come from an ape we won't embarrass you further. But everyone else on earth, including Charles Darwin, has descended from human parents and nothing else.
Q: Your web stie is so full of pi in the sky believes that it maks me mad jus lokoing at it ..why dont you get educatd!
A: Can you rekamend a good skool!?
Q: Ha ha ha! Did you people know that a Skeptics group gave you their “Worst Creationist Website” award?
A: Yes, and that award has made us the envy of creationist websites across the world. But they gave the award to our old website under the old management some years ago. This site is now under new management, and we have changed a few things. When the Skeptics look at this site now they will find it is much worse.
Q: If creationists are so smart, why don't they accept that there's a link between humans and ape-like creatures?
A: If evolutionists are so smart, why don't they convince us that there is one?
Q: Haven't you wiseguys heard that evolution from apes is proven by the fact that humans and chimps have 98% DNA in common?
A: Here is a challenge. Take a good-looking young guy and a good-looking male chimp, place them side by side and ask a group of teenage girls which one they would like to be seen with on a date. After the first one chooses the guy, see if you can offload the chimp to any of the others for a double-date. 98% similar DNA simply means similar DNA. It doesn't show descent and it certainly doesn't show that chimps are 98% identical to humans.
Q: Your assertion that Homo sapiens hasn't evolved from apes is an insult to science.
A: Speaking of insults, choose one of the following comments to say to the next mother of a new-born baby you meet:
Q: You people wouldn't know a good case for evolution if you fell over one.
A: Maybe you're right. But we're not sure that Darwinists know a good case for evolution either, because the only evidence they can think of to give creationists is ridicule.
Q: I got abducted by aliens in Memphis and was taken in a UFO to another galaxy. Since I got back I have electricity running thorugh my body. What should I do?
A: Wear rubber boots.
Q: As a fundamentalist site you must also support suicide bombers and Osama bin Laden's murderous henchmen.
A: You've got the wrong religion for a start. And after the number of news items we have run against people like Osama bin Laden over the years we are not expecting an email from al-Qaeda offering us their sponsorship.
Q: Ive written to you scumbags twice befor an d told you evything tyhat was wrong witha all you web sight .. why didnt you reply.
A: You gave us a fake email address.