How to deal with difficult people. The Broken Record technique.

Search this site

Dealing with difficult people

The Broken Record technique

Here is a way you can deal with difficult people by being persistent.

The Broken Record technique teaches you to be persistent in saying what you want, and helps you deal with people who try to manipulate you. Broken Record is a basic asssertiveness training techniques.

Broken Record

Before the days of iPods, DVDs, videos, and CDs, people used to play music on vinyl records (see photo at right). These were big, thin, black disks (like a thin and badly burnt pizza) with thin grooves that ran around the whole record. A handle with a needle in the end was placed on this vinyl record and as the record spun around on a flat turntable, the needle would produce the sounds that were recorded on the record.

Often the needle would slip and scratch the record, and so every time the needle reached this scratched part it would replay a bit of the song over and over because it couldn't find the right groove. On this “broken record” you may hear someone singing “I loves ya baby and this — I loves ya baby and this — ” over and over until someone lifted the needle off the record.

When dealing with people who won't listen to reason or who won't give you what you are entitled to, you can use the Broken Record technique.

Like a broken record, you remain persistent and keep saying what you want over and over without showing anger or annoyance, and without raising your voice.

Krystal's new jeans

Here's an example.

Krystal is a shy 15-year-old who has been saving her money to buy a good brand name pair of jeans. When she gets home from the store she finds there is a rip in one of the pockets. Her mother tells her to take them back to the store and either get a new pair or get her money back.

Normally this confrontation would terrify Krystal, but she has learned the technique of Broken Record, and here's what happens.

Krystal: I bought these jeans and one of the pockets was ripped. I would like a new pair or my money back please.

Clerk: These are the best jeans we sell. We don't sell them with rips in them.

Krystal: I'm sure they don't usually have rips in them, but this pair did. I would like a new pair or my money back. [Broken Record]

Clerk: Some people accidentally rip their jeans and then say they bought them that way.

Krystal: I'm sure they do. But in this case the jeans had a rip before I wore them. I would like a new pair or my money back. [Broken Record]

Clerk: Have you been doing exercises in them?

Krystal: No, but I'm sure you don't sell jeans that are so badly made that people can't exercise in them. I would like a new pair or my money back please. [Broken Record]

Clerk: We don't have any more of that brand in your size. You'll have to keep them.

Krystal: I don't want to keep them because they have a rip in the pocket. I want a new pair or my money back. [Broken Record]

Clerk: I have a lot of other customers to attend to. I can't spend all day discussing this with you.

Krystal: I don't want you to. As soon as I get a new pair of jeans or my money back I will leave. [Broken Record]

Clerk: Well, we have new stocks coming in this afternoon. If you come back then you can exchange the pair you have.

Krystal: Great! Can you write down your name so I can ask for you when I come back?

Krystal wouldn't be deterred no matter what the clerk said. If the clerk had said that only the store manager could refund money, Krystal would ask to see the store manager and do the broken record technique again.

When you use Broken Record, you aren't put off by anything the other person says. You simply keep saying in a calm, repetitive voice what you want to say until the other person agrees to what you want or offers an acceptable compromise.

Keep in mind that most people have only a certain number of Nos before they get worn down. If the other person has 3, you only need 4. If the store clerk has 6, Krystal only needs 7.

The purpose of Broken Record is not to teach you to speak like a broken record, but to teach you that you can be rewarded for your persistence.

Jesus' parable

Jesus gave a wonderful illustration of persistence in prayer in His parable of the Woman and the Judge in Luke 18:1-8.

A widow in a city approached a judge to help her get justice in a case against someone who was making her life very difficult.

But the judge respected neither God nor people, and refused to help her.

She persisted, like a broken record, and eventually the judge said, “Though I fear not God, nor regard man, yet because this widow troubles me I will give her justice, lest by her continual coming she weary me.”

Photo of jeans store is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution ShareAlike 3.0 License. In short: you are free to share and make derivative works of the file under the conditions that you appropriately attribute it, and that you distribute it only under a license identical to this one. Official license.

Related topics:

• Peer pressure: Do Christians find it easier to resist?
• How to make friends! Helpful hints that work!
• How to become popular
• How to be interesting
• Voting in elections: How to find the best person to vote for.
• Karen Johnson's amazing high school paper — written the day before she died in a car crash.
• Teens who go to church have less trouble and higher values.

Teen topics list || Return to top of page

| Main page || Creation Tips || News || Crystal Clear Creation || DinosaurCam || Games || News archives || News |

Contact us.
Website: www.creationtips.com
Copyright © Creation Tips and its
licensors. All rights reserved.